The Immortal Words of
January 31, 2011, 6:49 pm
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“The thing about quotes on the internet, is that it is hard to discern whether or not they are accurate.” – Abraham Lincoln.


Here are some of my favorite quotes of all time:

“The time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining.” – John Kennedy

“To create an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” -Carl Sagan

“I prefer to see the universe as it really is, rather than succumb to delusion, no matter how reassuring.” – Carl Sagan

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.” – George Carlin

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”  – Jim Carrey


What are some of yours?


The End?
September 20, 2010, 5:05 pm
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When something is with you for as long as you remember, it really becomes a part of your identity.  Growing up, playing ball in the back yard was just something I did.  It was like eating dinner, or going to bed… it was just part of my daily routine that I didn’t even think about.

When I was about 9 years old is when I first realized I was pretty good.  Everyone wanted to play catch with me on my little league team because I could throw the ball farther than anyone.  From there, I became a pretty good little leaguer, and then a very good high school player, and dabbled in some college ball.

I even argued in little league...

Growing up, I always envisioned myself making the big leagues.  Not because I wanted the millions of dollars, or the women or the recognition.   It was just all I wanted to do.  I lived baseball. I breathed baseball.  I would sleep and dream baseball.  I was baseball.

In High School, my team came within 3 outs of winning the state championship, only to let it slip through our fingers.  That night still haunts me in my dreams.  Late at night, when the demons come, I envision us winning…celebrating… only to remember that it was just a figment of my imagination.

After college, I started playing in the ‘semi-pro’ leagues.  Wood bats, pro rules, good competition (usually).  This brought me back to the fun of the game.  I wasn’t trying to ‘make it’ anymore… I was just playing because I loved it, and I was better than almost everyone I played against.

The Dub.

It wasn’t that I was bigger, or stronger, or faster.  I didn’t have the fastest fastball, and I didn’t hit Ruthian homeruns.   I just was able to do everything well, and consistantly, because I had done it forever.   I was always able to make the smart play, or get the important hit.  It came naturally to me.

I remember distinctly the day this ended.  It was in January of 2008.  I was pitching off of an in-door mound to some guys who were taking batting practice.  I was throwing as hard and as accurately as I ever had…which was a mistake, because it was the first time I had thrown all year.

Later that evening, I noticed that my arm felt… different.  It felt heavy and sluggish.  I had never felt this before.

Flash forward to today… almost three years later.   The last three years have been a series of arm injuries.  Pain and general discomfort have made the last few years more and more difficult to play, and I have become less and less effective.

Baseball is still fun for me, and always will be.  But it has gotten to the point where, barring major surgey, I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Is this the end? Maybe.   Maybe I’ll fill in here and there.  Maybe I’ll play softball.  Maybe I’ll even half-ass my way through a few more seasons.   But the little kid inside of me, who played ball in the back yard, has just hung ’em up for good.

Fork It.
September 8, 2010, 1:47 pm
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When life gives you lemons, or a crappy job, fork it.

In mid-December of 2009 I was approached by my boss and another colleague to come up with some ‘edgy’ ideas for billboards that would prompt people to visit a website, which we would design in conjunction with the billboards.  The purpose of both the billboard and website campaign was to get people interested in careers in hospitality.

How do you make hospitality edgy?  Usually, I am no stranger to being edgy, but this was going to be tough.  My boss, our President and CEO, told me that he would rather ‘reel me in’ than have to ‘push me to go further.’  So, basically, I had a clean slate to be as edgy as I wanted in my first few drafts of the billboard.

Idea #1:  My first idea was to have a typical stuffy-looking businessman duct-taped to a chair, with duct tape over his mouth and looking like he had been roughed up.   Behind him would be a person in a Chef’s outfit, holding a meat cleaver, and smiling sinisterly.    In big, bold letters we would say “Serve your boss.”

I was “reeled in.” Apparently cannibalism is not something our industry wanted to promote.

Idea #2:  A big, white billboard with a picture of a fork on it.  In big, black bold letters it reads “F–k it.”  At the bottom, we would have the web address

This idea was actually a hit, but Fairway Outdoor Advertising relayed to us that it would be doubtful the Department of Transportation would be ok with something that edgy, but “Fork it” would work.

A couple of months later, all of the billboards are now up. is now up-and-running, and our web hits show that most of the visits have come from Blackberries or iPhones, meaning people are likely accessing the page as they are driving down the street, which hopefully won’t get anyone hurt.

Nonetheless, I am very proud of this campaign and get calls or texts from friends all of the time that say “hey, just saw your billboard.”

I tell them to go Fork themselves.

Fork You.

Giant balls of hot gas and fire.
March 16, 2010, 10:12 am
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A few nights ago, I was watching Castaway on my new tv when I was overcome by the soothing sounds of Tom Hanks screaming for help.   I fell asleep on the couch, and despite waking up several times throughout the night, I decided to just go ahead and stay on the couch until morning.

All of my windows were closed.  There were blinds, there were curtains…both closed.

However, down a 60 foot hallway and through another room, there is a tiny 4 or 5 inch section of glass window atop my front door.  It just so happened that this window aligned directly with my face, somehow…even though it was not directly in my line of sight.

One beam of light made it’s way through that window, down the hall, across the floor, and sat right on my face…and was bright enough to wake me up.

This light source was 93,000,000 miles away.  That’s six zeroes.  93 Million miles away and still bright as fuck.

This inspired me to think….damn, the sun really is bright.  It’s 93 million miles away and you still cannot look directly at it for any length of time without some kind of eye damage.  That’s fucking hardcore.  Name something else that would be that far away and still cause eye damage to look at (besides Rosie O’Donnell).  Go ahead…try!

Summary: The sun is bright as fuck.

Medication Claims Another Star
June 30, 2009, 2:23 pm
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Growing up, I was a big Michael Jackson fan.  I still believe that the choreography for Thriller was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.  Dancing zombies…you just can’t beat it (pun intended).

Michael Jackson died last thursday, stealing the thunder from Farrah Fawcett.   I, for one, was shocked that he died, but the more I thought about it, it really shouldn’t have been a suprise.   He was 6’0 tall and 105 lbs.   That isn’t healthy, especially for a 50 year old man.  He had also been rumored to be under the influence of a lot of prescription medications.   Also, you really shouldn’t let pet chimps eat at the dinner table.

I am sad to see MJ go, because I enjoyed his music, but really I am more distressed at the amount of people, not just celebrities, that are dying as a result of prescription meds.   You do not need to take pills for every little thing.   More and more people treat every problem they have with more and more drugs.  Can’t sleep? Pills.  Sleep too much? Pills.  Too sad? Pills.  Too happy? Pills.  Stub your toe? Pills.  It’s getting ridiculous and more attention needs to be paid to this subject.

MLB Season Update: How are my predictions doing?
June 30, 2009, 1:45 pm
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Aside from predicting the Indians to win the AL Central (they currently have the worst record in the American League), I think I am doing OK.   The Texas Rangers are doing better than I figured, as well (which is suprising, seeing as how Josh Hamilton has missed a bulk of the season with various ailments).

My prediction for American League MVP was Mark Texeira, and he really has a shot.  Right now he is currently 2nd in the AL in Homeruns (20) and in the top 5 in RBIs.  He also has not committed an error in his first 75 games with the Yankees.

My NL MVP was David Wright.   He currently is leading the NL in batting average, but it looks as if he will miss out on this award to Albert Pujols.   The ‘Amazin Albert has 28 homeruns thus far, including 6 multi-homerun games.

Look for some big trades to start happening soon, as teams fall out of contention.

2009 MLB Predictions
April 8, 2009, 4:26 pm
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My favorite time of year is here…the beginning of the MLB season. Here are my predictions:

AL East:

Boston Red Sox

Yankees (Wild Card)


Blue Jays


AL Central




White Sox


AL West





National League

NL East






NL Central






NL West


Diamondbacks (Wild Card)




AL MVP: Mark Texiera    NL MVP: David Wright

AL Cy Young: Jon Lester    NL Cy Young: Johan Santana

AL Rookie of the Year: Matt Weiters     NL Rookie of the Year: Kenshin Kawakami

Playoffs: Boston over Oakland

Yankees over Indians

Yankees over Boston

Mets over Dodgers

Cubs over Diamonbacks

Cubs over Mets

Cubs over Yankees 😦