It’s been a while since I wrote a blog, but today was one of those days where I rolled out of bed with a little extra assholicness in my blood.   The alarm was beeping, the cat was meowing, the sun was coming through my blinds, and I just decided that I was going to be in an angry mood today.

In this blog I will discuss:

Having two jobs and why it sucks.
Michael Vick
Stupid things people say
Pregnant women
Homeless People
Money
President Obama
Jesus Freaks / Idiots
New movies coming out
and exactly what I have been up to recently.

I’ll start off with why having two jobs sucks balls.  First, let me say that I loved working in a video store back when I was in High School and college.  So a couple of months ago, when my job at the charity I work for cut my hours, I decided the best course of action would be to get a second job to suppliment my income….so I got a job at a video store.

It’s a really retro video store, where they actually still rent and sell a large number of VHS tapes, to go along with DVD and Blu Ray.  Most of their business, as I have discovered, comes from selling porn DVDs to perverts who obviously have never heard of the internet.   Working in the store is actually kind of a cool job.   I don’t really have to do very much and spend most of my time watching movies or sitting on my ass texting people.   The problem is that when combined with a real 9-5 job, working 5 hours a night in retail kind of sucks dick.   The first hour is brings on a “I should have called out, I want to go home and lay down” mood.  The second hour is more about “almost half-way done with my shift, let me find a long enough movie to watch for the next 3 hours.”   The third hour is when your back starts to hurt, and your feet start to ache.   In the fourth hour you start to calculate the financial consequenses of quitting.   In the 5th hour, you start to dread the closing duties, such as counting down the registers and filling out all the paperwork.   It sucks and I am too good for it.

I took the job not realizing that I would get a better fulltime offer from a new job within days….so now I have the luxury of being able to quit the video store whenever I want, but just out of a sense of duty, I will stick it out for another month or so, just because I don’t want to be that guy who works somewhere for three weeks.

Meanwhile, I am in the last day and a half of the worst job I have ever had, working for a charity.   The pay is shit, the people are pretentious social workers who think they are making a difference, and I have no windows in my office….so I have no idea if it is actually raining shit on my life, like I feel it is.    But as of tomorrow at 1pm, I will be a memory for this place… WOO HOO!

Michael Vick

Michael Vick is just a complete piece of shit.  Everyone is debating whether or not they should let him play football again, but that isn’t really what they should be arguing.   They should be debating whether or not they let him breathing the air on this planet.   I would prefer to see him launched into the sun, but that’s just me.

Stupid things people say

This morning my boss said to the girl in the office next to me “How was the funeral?”

Really?

How does anyone answer that question?   “Ohhh it was awesome.  He climbed out of the casket and did the thriller dance.”  or “He hadn’t really rotted very much yet, and the smell was tolerable, so I’d say it was successful!”

Instead, she answered like I thought she would answer:  “It was a wonderful service.”   Really?  I am sure the guy in the casket didn’t think it was so wonderful.  Actually, he probably didn’t think much of anything, because more than likely he has been blanked out of existance compeltely and is no longer a centiant being.    How can a funeral be wonderful?  Unless you’re a morbid creep, funerals suck.  They always suck, unless you’re happy the person died.

Pregnancy

Every goddamn woman in my office is pregnant (and no, it wasn’t my fault).   I cannot stand pregnant women and how much they talk about their cervix.    If I came into this office and talked about my sperm count, or my prostate, or something along those lines…these stupid women would tattle on me and try to make my life a living hell….but I have to listen to them talk about their cervixes and all sorts of other gross shit.

New Rule: If you are more than 1 month pregnant, you must have your face ducttaped shut.

Money

So the economy seems to be improving, which is awesome for me because right now I don’t have any money.   I am starting a new job on monday which will pay pretty well, and I have two roommates who theoretically will be paying my mortgage for me as I accumulate bankroll.

You know how you are doing well?  When you are drinking gatorade.  You never see a homeless man drinking gatorade.

Obama

I fought hard for Obama, and really wanted him to get into office and make a difference….but I must admit, the members of his own party are cockblocking right now.   The problem with healthcare and with the healthcare bill is that the insurance companies still get to play a role at all.   We need to nationalize the insurance companies and do some sort of thing that switches what their job actually is, because needing insurance is stupid.    If people are sick, they should be able to go to the doctors office, pay a flat fee of like 25 dollars and get healed.  Maybe 5 bucks per medication as well.    Figure it out Cheif.

Jesus Freaks

Last but not least, I must get to the Jesus freaks.   Why do people believe in this shit?  Why do people get so obsessed with an idea that doesn’t have a shred of proof to back it up.

People say, “well I don’t need proof…sometimes you just have to believe.”

Wrong.  When making an extraordinary claim, you must have proof or at least some evidence if you don’t want to sound like an idiot.   I could tell you that I have a dragon living in my closet, and you would say “prove it.”  I could just come back and say “you can’t prove it isn’t there” and it would be the same argument that people make for Jesus and all those other religions.

People, quit wasting your time.  Trust me, you are here for a very short time….so do your best not to murder people and hope for the best, like I do.

So, tomorrow is friday.   One of the benifits of having my hours cut back at my current job is that I now have long weekends (fridays and mondays off).   But since I am starting my job at the video store on Monday, I have decided that this is the perfect time to take a nice little excursion to the beach.

So, Wilmington, be on the lookout!   I am cruising into town tomorrow morning and will be stopping by all of the usual places.  UNCW, Elizabeth’s Pizza, and Wrightsville Beach.

Growing up, I was a big Michael Jackson fan.  I still believe that the choreography for Thriller was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.  Dancing zombies…you just can’t beat it (pun intended).

Michael Jackson died last thursday, stealing the thunder from Farrah Fawcett.   I, for one, was shocked that he died, but the more I thought about it, it really shouldn’t have been a suprise.   He was 6′0 tall and 105 lbs.   That isn’t healthy, especially for a 50 year old man.  He had also been rumored to be under the influence of a lot of prescription medications.   Also, you really shouldn’t let pet chimps eat at the dinner table.

I am sad to see MJ go, because I enjoyed his music, but really I am more distressed at the amount of people, not just celebrities, that are dying as a result of prescription meds.   You do not need to take pills for every little thing.   More and more people treat every problem they have with more and more drugs.  Can’t sleep? Pills.  Sleep too much? Pills.  Too sad? Pills.  Too happy? Pills.  Stub your toe? Pills.  It’s getting ridiculous and more attention needs to be paid to this subject.

Aside from predicting the Indians to win the AL Central (they currently have the worst record in the American League), I think I am doing OK.   The Texas Rangers are doing better than I figured, as well (which is suprising, seeing as how Josh Hamilton has missed a bulk of the season with various ailments).

My prediction for American League MVP was Mark Texeira, and he really has a shot.  Right now he is currently 2nd in the AL in Homeruns (20) and in the top 5 in RBIs.  He also has not committed an error in his first 75 games with the Yankees.

My NL MVP was David Wright.   He currently is leading the NL in batting average, but it looks as if he will miss out on this award to Albert Pujols.   The ‘Amazin Albert has 28 homeruns thus far, including 6 multi-homerun games.

Look for some big trades to start happening soon, as teams fall out of contention.

My favorite time of year is here…the beginning of the MLB season. Here are my predictions:

AL East:

Boston Red Sox

Yankees (Wild Card)

Rays

Blue Jays

Orioles

AL Central

Indians

Twins

Royals

White Sox

Tigers

AL West

Athletics

Angels

Texas

Mariners

National League

NL East

Mets

Phillies

Marlins

Braves

Nationals

NL Central

Cubs

Cardinals

Reds

Brewers

Astros

NL West

Dodgers

Diamondbacks (Wild Card)

Giants

Rockies

Padres

AL MVP: Mark Texiera    NL MVP: David Wright

AL Cy Young: Jon Lester    NL Cy Young: Johan Santana

AL Rookie of the Year: Matt Weiters     NL Rookie of the Year: Kenshin Kawakami

Playoffs: Boston over Oakland

Yankees over Indians

Yankees over Boston

Mets over Dodgers

Cubs over Diamonbacks

Cubs over Mets

Cubs over Yankees

I hope you have all been following the Presidential Election. I have been following it closely and, from what I can tell, it’s getting ugly out there. We have attack advertisements from both sides. We have one VP candidate whom I havn’t seen on TV since the convention, and one who is on every news show, every sketch show, and every magazine cover.

Why can’t the real world be more like The West Wing? Arnie Vinick (Alan Alda) and Matt Santos (Jimmy Smitts) were such a great pair of bright, thoughtful candidates. I guess it is too much to ask of our candidates these days.

Meanwhile the economy is in the toilet even worse than ever. At least I am not the only one wondering how he is going to pay his rent next month. Misery loves company, I guess.

On the bright side, though, my Dolphins beat the Patriots 38-13 on Sunday. I guess I can focus on football now that the Yankees are basically out of it and have played their last game in the Cathedral.

I can’t wait for Halloween. I have an awesome costume planned.

Waking up every day, I jump right onto all of the usual job sites.  Monster.com, craigslist.com, careerbuilder.com, hotjobs, etc.   Being without a job, especially after having a great one for the last few years, is a pride-swallowing siege which can only be experienced, not explained.

In the past six weeks, I have interviewed at several places, for several types of positions.   I have interviewed at an echocardiography place, as an assistant to the marketing director.  I have interviewed at software companies and furniture companies.   So far, no luck.

My dad always said to ‘make your vacation your vocation.’   Well, for him it was easy.   He enjoyed playing with electronics, so he became an electrician for the phone company.   Then he started his own business fixing electronics.  Simple, right?  But what about the millions of us whose vacation involves listening to a baseball game while lying on the beach drinking ice tea (with lemon…MMMM!)?

For the people like us, and me especially, our career aspirations should be to find a job that we can excel at while still being happy.  No one really wants to spend all day in a cubicle, but we have to, so we might as well do something we like while we are in there.  Thus, that is my true career aspiration.  To find a job I like to do, no matter what it is, and become the best at it.

So, while my health insurance has now run out, and my unemployment benefits run out in 4 months, I continue to search for that position.   It’s just a matter of getting in the door for an interview at the right time and seizing the opportunity.

I don’t consider myself much of a gamer. I am not very good at Role playing games, and I quickly learn to fail at online first-person-shooters. However…one gaming genre I am an expert on is Sports games. Particularly baseball games, and Madden. I’ll blog about Madden some other time, but for now I will go into the history of my baseball-gaming experiences. I’ll also preview MLB 08: The Show and MLB 2K8, which both come out a week from Tuesday (I have already scheduled the day off of work).

I first started baseball-gaming on the Original NES with Bad News Baseball, Baseball Stars, RBI Baseball, and Bases Loaded.

Of these, the gameplay was definitly the best on Bad News Baseball, but Baseball Stars had the makings of the first Franchise mode (more on this later), where you could fire/hire players, and create your own team to play throughout a schedule. The game was equipped with a memory pack to allow for game saves.

Another fun game, which I have been saying someone should re-make for years, was Little League Baseball.

The premise of the game was, you take control of any country’s national little league team, and participate in the little league world series. The gameplay was excellent, and the game was very very very tough. The graphics werent too bad either.

  Baseball Stars

Later, as we moved onto the next generation, Sega Genesis, we saw the emergence of ACTUAL stadiums and almost photo-realistic graphics. Everyone thought this was a miracle, however it was only the pitcher-batter interface that looked like this. World Series Baseball was the first game to put hitting in the perspective of the catcher’s camera, to show off the stadiums.

Then, as I progressed to the next generation of Sega…the Saturn, I found perhaps my most favorite baseball game of all-time, World Series Baseball ‘98.

World Series Baseball 98 was the first game that I know of, to feature almost every signature pitching motion and batting stance in the major leagues. Certainly every big-name player in the game had their own unique motions. Though the player models looked terrible, the batting engine was unique, and featured a guess-pitch which was quite rewarding.

The hitter would guess where the pitch would be…one of 8 quadrants in the strike zone. If you guessed the correct zone where the pitch would end up, the cursor would lock on and it would be easy to make contact (though hit quality was dependant on timing), but if you guessed wrong, a manual cursor would pop up in the strikezone, and you would have to locate it over the pitched ball as it was coming in….making it very difficult to react in time on hard-throwing pitchers. Very realistic.

After that, I picked up a Playstation…where I had fun with games like 3D Baseball (which used in-game stat overlays for franchise mode—such as “Cecil Fielder is currently 4th in the Majors with 13 Home runs—this was an excellent game.) 3D Baseball had excellent audio as well, and was one of the most underrated baseball games ever. The lack of the MLB License though, meant no real team names or stadiums, only the MLBPA license for player names.

Later was MLB 97 by SCEA…..this would feature excellent animations and audio, and the series would eventually become MLB The Show in 2006.

Moving forward to Playstation 2 (because there were really no good N64 Baseball titles)… All Star Baseball from Acclaim brought the deepest franchise mode in the history of baseball games. Small things, such as player arbitration and the Rule 5 draft were implemented. The gameplay was ok. It was realistic but the player models were all very similar and moved too robotically. The commentary was also exceptionally dry and awful.

Next, the once great Triple Play series was canned, and became MVP Baseball. I first got this game in 2003 for XBox, and it featured a brand new meter-pitching system, which would not only control pitch speed but would affect the accuracy of the pitch and the pitcher’s stamina. The hitting system allowed for true physics, and forced players to try and hit like an actual baseball player, instead of swinging for homeruns all the time.

MVP Baseball 2005, the 3rd and final iteration of the series, was/is considered by most hardcore gamers to be the greatest baseball game ever made. The game featured an Owner Mode in which you controlled all of the players throughout your entire system (A, AA, AAA, Majors) for the first time. Also, real player salaries and a realistic monetary system. You would build your own stadium, charge ticket prices, concession stand prices, and negotiate player salaries….try and make money and win at the same time, I dare you. BEST GAME EVER.

After seeing this, 2k sports swooped in and bought the third-party developer rights to Major League Baseball, thus killing the MVP franchise. Unfortunately 2k sports had yet to put out a revolutionary baseball game….in fact, most of their games pretty much sucked.

MLB 2K6, their first solo effort, and the first baseball game on Xbox 360, was one of the worst games ever made. Xbox graphics, Xbox animations, Original Nintendo Audio sounds, and The most boring commentary in the history of mankind.

MLB 2K7, however, may have been on of the best looking sports games ever made.

And while MLB 2K7 addressed a lot of the MLB 2K6 problems, it was still a flawed game with too many homeruns, and pitching that was incredibly easy. Here is a look at a box score from a game I played within 1 week of buying the game, on the hardest difficulty:

Yes, I won 21-0, threw a perfect game, and had 18 strikeouts.

The graphics were indeed beautiful though, and bringing in the executive producer of MVP 2005 to become the E.P. of MLB 2K7, 2K8, 2K9, certainly has the game moving in the right direction. More on MLB 2K8 later.

MLB 07 the show was the first iteration of the popular PS2 game. Mlb 07 features a great presentation, and the best audio commentary in the history of video games. Not just sports…but all games. The physics were excellent, and the franchise mode was deep and somewhat challenging (yet buggy). The graphics werent up to par with MLB 2K7, however.

Players lacked self shadowing…the game lacked dynamic lighting, and homeruns/foul balls lacked collision detection with the environment around the field.

Those things have been fixed for MLB 08 the Show:

MLB 08 the show features some of the best player faces in gaming. The crowd interaction is there too, with fans reaching for foul balls, chanting, giving standing ovations, and even batting around beach balls (which occasionally make it onto the field).

MLB 08 also features a robust create-a-player feature, which borrows a system from EA’s Tiger Woods golf and Fightnight, were almost every aspect of a player’s head is editable. Maybe next year some sort of camera compatibility will be added?

Packed with all of the same great gameplay and presentation, MLB 08 appears to be the front-runner in this year’s baseball war…however it is only available to PS3 owners, as the 3rd party license agreement still belongs to 2k sports.

Speaking of 2k Sports, they have added to their 2k7 titlle by adding the following:

An innovative new pitching system–designed for hardcore gamers like myself, in which throwing a pitch requires you to actually mimic the pitch spin that a real pitcher would use.

Fully playable minor leagues — -A, AA, and AAA teams and uniforms (and 20 minor league stadiums… a first for MLB gaming)

New batting and throwing mechanics and physics.

Unfortunately, early gameplay footage and reviews have shown that not much was done to the somewhat subdued crowd atmosphere and same-old boring audio.

Perhaps in 2k9, it will shine.

My beloved cat, Melky, who would have been two years old in April, died this morning.

I woke up as I always do.  I took a shower, put food in the bowl, and then went to my computer.   I scooped the litter box, and suddenly I realized I hadnt seen Melky yet.

I walked out into the living room, and in the corner, I saw him curled up.   He looked like he was asleep…I reached over to wake him, but he didnt move.   So I tried to lift his head, and I noticed he was stiff.     His claws had dug themselves into the carpet, and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth, with his teeth clenched on it.    It was the most horrible thing I have ever seen.

I havnt cried in years.  I cried a little when I found out my uncle was going to die in early 2006.

Today I bawled.  Melky will not be forgotten.

He used to wait by the door for me to come home.   He used to bask in the sun, and lay on his back in the cute way that only some cats do.   He would sit and watch tv with me, or if I was playing video games, he would crawl up and lay down next to me and sleep against my leg.

He would sit on the corner of the bathtub while I took a bath, as he did last night.   Minutes after I would lay down in bed, I would feel the thump of him jumping into bed with me….as he did last night.

Last night I petted and scratched his head a little more than usual, because he was being extra friendly and purring extra loud.   He seemed extra happy.   Maybe he knew that when my eyes closed, that I would be saying goodbye and goodnight to him for the last time.

Or maybe he was just being a cat.  Happy to be in a warm bed with an owner who loved him dearly.  I’ll miss you little buddy.